The 5 Habits For Happiness That Will Change Your Life
Happy is something we all want to be and over the past 12 months, I’ve learned a lot about my own happiness, what it means for me to be happy and most importantly, my own habits for happiness.
Today I want to share those things with you.
The truth is, I’ve always struggled with happiness.
Maybe I’m a glass half-full kind of guy but in the past I’ve found it difficult to see the good side of things. I’ve written extensively about my own anxiety, especially as a teenager and so it’s become a bit of an obsession of mine to find ways to be happy.
I just want to feel ‘good’, like we all do.
And as mentioned, I’ve made a lot of progress in this department recently.
So what changed?
I started to look at the things I was doing throughout each day…
I thought that big things like birthdays and holidays held the key to my own happiness but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Cool new car? I get used to it after a few weeks. Exciting music event? It’s over after a few hours.
Instead, I’ve learned that it’s the small actions I take each day that give me a real and unquestionable sense of happiness. It’s the way I choose to perceive life that makes an ongoing difference.
I’m a big believer in the idea that you become what you repeatedly think and do. And I think that makes sense — if you’re around negative people, you’re more likely to become a negative thinker too.
So where does that leave you?
I say, with your habits. These are your habits for happiness — the things you do in life over and over that shape how you think and see the world.
Everyone is different, but these are the habits for more happiness that work for me. In fact, I’d go as far as to say they changed my life and I think they could change yours if you make them a habit.
Hopefully, you can take some inspiration from them in your own quest for more happiness.
1. Stop comparing yourself to everyone
This is a difficult one because we live in a digital age where it’s easy to compare ourselves to others. It’s also easy to forget that we’re all from different backgrounds and have different circumstances.
Social media is great, but there’s no doubt it’s a breeding ground for envy and jealousy.
One of my own habits for more happiness is catching myself when I begin to think; “It would be really cool to have what they have!”
Again, this is hard. But if you notice yourself doing this, you can stop this reaction. You are unique. There’s only ever going to be one of you. Even though you might not be able to see it yourself all the time, you’re special as an individual and you have great things that other people would love to have too.
The reality is, we all have things other people would like.
We’re all different. We’re all social animals that will be tempted to compare ourselves but there is nothing to gain from doing this.
Catch yourself when you start to compare yourself to others and remember the great things you already have.
2. Relentless gratitude
That leads me onto the next habit for happiness; gratitude. But not just any old gratitude. I’m talking about being grateful for everything, even the stuff that might seem silly.
Like, for example, having legs. How amazing is it to have legs? You’ve probably had them your whole life so no doubt you don’t even think about all the cool things your legs allow you to do like walk to the shop to buy bread, run, stretch and play sports.
One habit that has made me happier (and one that I try to do everyday) is to find gratitude in everything. This takes a degree of slowing down now and again so you can become mindful of things. But in my experience, it’s totally worth it.
I’m relentlessly grateful for my family and friends. But I also keep in the front of my mind other things like being able to drink clean water, or walking along the beach breathing clean air. These things aren’t a given.
Not everyone gets to have these things.
They seem mundane on the surface, but when you zoom out, there quite amazing.
I guess the old saying; “count your blessings” is actually a helpful thing to do.
This is helping me and I think it could help you too.
Just take one moment a day to appreciate something, even something tiny. Do this for long enough and you might surprise yourself.
3. Not having an opinion about everything
I like looking back to the days where I didn’t have a cell phone. Whilst I love having one now, there was something magical about the days where I’d go out with my friends and not be distracted or need to open my phone and comment on something.
But I was fortunate enough to grow up later on with a cell phone. However one of the side-effects of that was I developed the idea that I needed to comment on everything I saw on social media. When I see old posts of mine from 15 years ago, I cringe.
Some of the stuff I used to say was either annoying or just damn right weird and pointless.
I was in that whirlwind of trying to constantly be part of the conversation online. Putting out posts like a fisherman, trying to reel in replies…
But things have changed a lot since then.
I still use social media from time to time but now I only post something if I have something to say.
And that bleeds into my own life. There’s so much sensationalism out there that wants my reaction. But I don’t want to give it to those things. I know what they’re doing.
They’re trying to get me emotional so I comment through anger.
This is a key habit for happiness in my own life an it’s a form of self-care. I don’t always have to have an opinion about something. I can simply look the other way and concentrate on what is important to me.
4. Concentrate on what you can control
There’s so much in this life that I can’t control and if there’s one thing I’m sure of (because I have experienced it and seen it in others) it’s that trying to be in control of everything will make you miserable. This is because it’s simply impossible.
- you can’t control what other people think of you
- you can’t control what other people say
- you can’t control what other people do
- you can’t control the weather
- you can’t control what happens on the other side of the planet
The list goes on and on and on…
One of the most stressful things for me personally is the news. There’s some truly horrible things that happen on this planet but most of them are out of my control, no matter how much I would like to help fix them.
Furthermore, there is a lot of drama that doesn’t even need to exist in the first place. Life is hard enough without manufactured drama that is pushed out just for clicks and eyeballs.
I say to hell with it.
I don’t have an opinion and I’m not going to get sucked in.
I have no doubt we are prone to getting addicted to drama. After all, it’s exciting. But what is the cost?
We end up in never ending loops of drama that have no end.
But the good news is, there are plenty of things I can control (which actually matter) like the food I eat, how much I exercise, how I treat people in my life, etc, etc.
Focus on these kinds of things to focus on though habit. Learn to ignore the noise that wants your attention and I think you’ll be happier.
5. Live in the present
Much of our suffering comes from living in the past or thinking too much about the future. Heck, I remember spending most of my school life worrying about what job I would get when I turned 35.
But what did I gain? absolutely nothing. And it stole my focus during those years.
Living in the past or the future steals from right now.
And the worst part is, you could spend your life this way before waking up one day and wondering where all the time went.
So how do you live in the present moment?
In my opinion, you have to limit distractions. Practise being present by focusing on those you are with, not on your phone. If you have intrusive thoughts, make a deal with yourself that you’ll spend time on them later.
Remind yourself that you are owed the present moment.
One big habit that helps me be more present is simply soaking things in instead of seeing everything as a photo opportunity.
When were we told something didn’t happen if we didn’t take a photo of it?
I’m not saying it’s always a bad thing but if you find yourself doing that a lot (like I have in the past) but you’re living in the future — thinking of posting the photo later on for everyone to see and admire, rather than enjoying the moment as it happens.
One of the biggest habits for happiness in my own life is capturing that photo in my head, in my memories. That way, it feels more meaningful and intimate, something for only me and those I experience the occasion with.
So what are the habits for happiness you can include in your own life? Leave me a comment and let’s start a conversation!
